The Sweaty Hippopotamus

The scientist have told us all
To keep out of the sun
They wag their fingers sternly
And they rob us of our fun

“You must be worried, UVB
radiation gives you cancer!!”
But when they’re pressed, and must relent
The say there is an answer

They grudgingly give permission
And with the grimmest sighs
Admit that we can frolic under summer’s
Azure skies

As long as we keep covered
Every pallid inch of skin
Wear wide brimmed hats! And long sleeve shirts!
Keep tender parts tucked in

But sadly I am one of those
That worships summer sun
I surf, I bike, I hike, I swim,
Play tennis, and I run

So I’ve been searching avidly
For something more effective
Than sunscreens that might just be proved
To sadly be defective

Now scientist in Fresno have
Found something for the lot of us
Who love the sun – and get this:
It’s the sweat of the hippopotamus!

I’m thrilled, I must admit to the
Potential of this find
And for the sweaty hippo,
I can’t imagine that he’d mind

Perspiring for our safety
I’d even like to be
The person that they test it on
Hey scientist! Try me!!

My life was once a spate of
Recreational insanity
But now I dedicate myself
To the betterment of humanity

I’d gladly dedicate myself to
Science’s edification
And allow myself to be slathered in
Hippopotamus perspiration