I will NEVER work with sheep again!

Oh the Christmas Pageant at the Community Hall was going so well - in rehearsals anyway.

I had been "voluntold" earlier in the week that I would be assisting with the directing part of the show: the scriptural tableaus - coaching the actors (well, other voluntolds, I expect) on bringing the scripture passages being read out over the course of the evening to life through mime, movement and well... mime, I guess.

We had some great people giving of their time and energy - Andy and Andre, Charlie and Ellie, Adam, Andronikus, Brent and John... all upstanding members of the community that had one thing in common: they weren't afraid to wear robes in public.

But there's always on actor in the lot that thinks the world of himself; that is NOT a team player; that is temperamental, moody and ruins it for everyone.

And for us at the Samford Community Church's Annual Christmas Pageant and Sausage Sizzle, it was this stroppy b@stard:



I SWEAR this stinking bugger will never work on stage in this town again as long as I have something to say about it!

And it had started so well. We began our evening rehearsals with our usual pilates warmup...


The men were all in dresses.... I mean costume....




The cast was in place....
And despite the fact that this miserable DIVA spent the rehearsals munching on costumes, sandals, props and a matte-black stage riser, he STILL ruined the one scene he was starring in:



All he had to do was run, with the shepherds, from one side of the stage to the other. But nooooo! It wasn't bad enough that during the rehearsals he decided that it wasn't in his contract to run from one side of the stage to the other; during the actual show, he decided to throw in the death scene from Hamlet!

That wretched, smelly, woolly little no good so-and-so decided to throw himself on the stage in a huff and lie there, pretending to be asleep!



Our wise-men were too ashamed to be part of it!


One third of our shepherds fainted...


And the other half tried to kill each other!

It was an utter disaster.

Next year, we are using goats.