and they say women are confusing?
all my female friends agree: all we want to share with a man is love and a life together. most of us have never wanted money, or favours, status or personal gain.
and yet, (according to the divorced men of my acquaintance) only psychotic, self-absorbed, self-righteous, sexually frigid gold diggers end up married.
even a very dear (male) friend in sydney candidly told me:
"Helped (a) lass with her kids high school uniform recently. She wanted to be with me, I said no but happy to help if things are bad. She said no, all she wanted was love. I said I cannot give you that. Pity I cannot fall for someone like that."
completely unable to understand what goes on in a man's head - and certain that i too must be doing something very wrong - i did something crazy: i asked a man.
this was his reply:
the world is strange, I hear men complaining about women wanting too much, and women complaining men will not committ. Maybe you and I are exceptions OR nobody is honest. Self delusion is deep. We only want that on our terms and here's my user manual with all 3000 terms in small print at the back and don't you dare not be able to find ALL my erogenous zones in 5 mins.
any thoughts on his reponse?? what do you think it is men are really looking for?
posted by AMackid at 9:06 PM
7 Comments:
I think his response is a bit confusing.
For the most part, most men want sex. Great sex. Lots and lots of great sex!
Women, for the most part want love. Not to just be loved, but that romance novel type of love.
The thing with that is that most men can't live up to that kind of expectation, and most don't want to.
Women want men to be able to get to know who they are, every part of them.
I don't know if this will sound like nonsense rambling, or may be considered helpful, but in any case, I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for :)
thank you for that!
so you mean men only get married so they can have sex? ;-)
I would almost prefer to see the hoff back on top than to take an chance and wade in on this one.
you are a wise man...
I can't speak for anyone else, but I can write for myself ;)
I'm 43 and I've never been married, so I still retain some immature boyish charm (which perhaps does not mix too well with hair that's grey around the edges).
Anyway... the short answer is... I don't know what I want but I assume I'll recognise it when I see it.
Does anyone *really* know what they want? And for those who do who get it, does it turn out to really be what they wanted?
Here's a thought...
Perhaps our society has moved into a 'self actualization' phase?
Consider this. In times past, and not all that long ago, pairing up with other people was essential for survival. My grandmother was a housewife, and in the 1930s that was *really* a full time occupation. Washing the family clothes took a whole day to do.
The world has changed (I know, duhhh). Basic survival, that is food and shelter, is not an issue for mosty of us these days.
I don't remember Maslow's heirarchy of needs, exactly. What comes after food and shelter? I think it's status, followed by self actualization.
The 'status hungry' follow more career oriented goals while the rest of us seek after Maslow's (poorly defined) self actualization.
I think this probably applies to modern relationships. We are a society of individuals with no real survival stress.
What we really want is people in our lives who enable us to be ourselves, become ourselves, express ourselves.
This line of thought could be developed much further, but I don't think there's space here ;)
I think a lot of men get married because they feel pressured into it, and they know they may have a good thing there.
I've never been married yet, so my knowledge of this particular subject is only speculation....lol.
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