from the here and now, a letter to the future...

here comes a time in which each of our lives are measured by the breaths we take between what was and what will be.

we call this pause in the hum and throb of life "a time of transition", and though i chafe and rail against the tenterhooks upon which i am stretched during this time of transition, i cannot help but hear my own voice ringing in my ears:

"i wish i had more time to write. i wish i had more time to read. i wish i had more time to...."

well, now i have the time.

i look in the mirror and i see a work in progress. while it is true we are each of us "a work in progress", how many of us collaborate with God, choosing to sit down and consciously, deliberately put time and effort into the work of art that each and every one of us is?

how many of us deliberately assume the role of sculptor, composer, author, architect, janitor, and interior decorator of our hearts, bodies and souls?

well, today i choose to make time my friend. i will not be impatient at the months which separate us; instead i will put them to use, and craft the only gift i will ever have to offer you: me.

i will take this time, this pause between heartbeats, to become the person you crave, the person you deserve, the person you have always dreamed of loving because just as you are my past, you are my future as well, and you deserve only the best that i can possibly offer you.

in this time between time i dedicate myself to prayer, worship and the study of scripture that i might become the Godly, spiritual woman you need to uplift you, grow with you and walk beside you as we move ever more deeply into a life in Christ.

in the aeon between here and there, i commit myself to reading, learning, and the pursuits of all things esoteric: the appreciation of music, art, science and the arcana of the cosmos, so that you might never become bored with our conversations; and so that i might always learn from you, and you from me as we discover the delights of life and the universe together.

in this space between places i devote myself to reflecting on the past and on the mistakes i have made, so that i might never make them again. i commit myself to letting go of the anger and pain, of working through my grief so that i might emerge a kinder, more compassionate and loving person than i ever was, because this is what you deserve.

in this eternity between past and future i pledge myself to the lifetime's study and the perfection of the art of love and friendship, mutual support, and the care and nurture of the human soul, that i might cherish and treasure your heart, keep you secure and protected, and make you feel as though there is no safer place in the world than in my arms.

in these moments between the fluttering blinks of an eye, i commend my body to strength, limberness and endurance, that i might always be strong and beautiful for you; and that i might stay the course, never flagging or tiring as we build the future together, forever remaining someone you are proud to be seen with.

but above all i shed my devotion to myself and live for you - your happiness, your joy, your pleasure and your passion; for i know that if you do the same for me, neither of us will ever want for a moment's joy..

the future will come ~ bidden or not ~ it will come. i need to be ready for you.