reality cheque, please!

(again, taken from actual online dating profiles...)

"You take my hand I will take yours. Your reach out your arms you will find mine to hold you. You wish to make love we will make love. You need your space you will have your space. Really it’s all up to you."

"I am a very attentive lover, I do like to spoil, but only when it isn't expected of me to do so. I love to please my woman. I like to give little reminders to her that I think of her as the day goes on...flowers, cards, gifts...I've also been told I give the best massages... "

"I NEED A GRL WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED LIKE AN ANGEL."

and yet these men are all divorced.

funny that.

an old friend once complained bitterly to me that his ex-wife never appreciated "the little things" he did for her - the flowers he'd send her, the small gifts he'd buy her, the romantic dinners he'd treat her to. this is something i have heard again and again from divorced men: the ongoing lament that "she didn't appreciate all the little things that i did for her."

well, there's a reason for that.

the only reason a woman doesn't appreciate the little things, is because the big things aren't there.

when a woman is loved, cherished, respected, cared for, supported and treasured, she has no need for "the little things". she has no need for tokens of affection.

she has real affection.

one of the sad realities is that when a woman gets flowers at the office, her friends do not gather around to coo and gush over how lucky she is to have a man that treats her like a goddess. they rally around her to see if she is ok, to ask her what he's done this time.

when a man proves his love of a woman daily to her by treating her with love and respect, by caring about what she is thinking and how she is feeling, by being there for her and by letting her be there for him, then flowers, gifts and romantic weekends for two become gravy.

but when those trinkets are all she gets from him, they are simply a crushing reminder of all the things he is not giving her....

so boys - save your money and just be nice to me. show me you care.

love's cheaper than you think ;-)