how did we ever cope?
(annie wipes silly grin off face long enough to post semi-serious rumination on blog)
in managing daycamp over the summer, we would have daily meetings with the two teenage girls that had been sent from "camp headquarters" in montreal to lead us in the curriculum. jessica and april are lovely girls - committed heart and soul to the Lord - and just plain fun to be around.
in other words, born camp counsellors.
however, they did serve to illustrate just how old and decrepit those of us participating in the daycamp were. see, they offered us a stunning piece of guidance that had most of us rolling our eyes, then rolling on the floor laughing.
we were informed, gently and yet still firmly, that during the quiz portion of the opening activity - or indeed during any interaction with a child that was answering a question - we were never to say to a child "no", "wrong", or "incorrect".
to proper response to a child that had gotten an answer "wrong", or "incorrect" was "very good! but that is actually the answer to another question."
that is the answer to another question?????
gee, i seem to recall that when i was a child, and i got an answer wrong, an adult would say "WRONG". sometimes they even said "INCORRECT". frequently, they even said "NO." and yet somehow i, and the others of my generation, survived and matured into adulthood relatively unscarred and untraumatized by having messed up the answer to a question.
that is the answer to another question??
sheesh. how did we ever survive the nightmare of childhood???
posted by AMackid at 10:50 AM
11 Comments:
I commend you and the rest of your generation on getting through all of that trauma without being affected now that you are adults...
Okay, just kidding...! :)
But I'd have to say that I don't think saying "that is the answer to another question" is going to make anything any better. If you are wrong, you are wrong, might as well learn from your mistakes.
... the children of this generation will end a crowd of oversensitive pansies.
That is so hilarious! I hear ya though; its also rather frightening. Are we so worried about damaging children's self esteem that we can't call a spade a spade?
If they can't handle hearing a 'No, wrong ansewr' on a camp quiz, what are they going to do when the big stuff in life come steamrolling over them?
Sheesh!
=)...
I have faith that Katelyn will save her entire generation! But no pressure. :+)
That's a lot of work, saving my entire generation...I will do my best... :)
Really, "that is the answer to another question" is nonsense...Being told "no" or "incorrect" or "wrong" didn't traumatize anyone else of any other generation like Andrea said...I don't think it'll traumatize this one...!
"How did we ever survive the nightmare of childhood?"
Psst..... we didn't, most of us are still there, we are all just dreaming and pretending to be adults.
Actually that wasn't a joke.
Most "adults" are role playing, playing pretend games in their lives ... that is how "we" survived chidhood, we didn't, we are still there.
On a serious note, do you remember the essay -
"Why are Americans afraid of Dragons"?
We just finished a month long day camp here, we also try to be encouraging and uplifting to the kids ... afterall, they can be told elsewhere how wrong they are ... or how they are not taken seriously ...
Sadly, I think you all missed the point terribly.
Without prejudice
Lil Sparrow
yet unfortunately, my sweet, bank managers, police, casting directors, lovers, hiring managers, doctors, stepchildren, lawyers, colleagues, parole officers, muggers, universtiy professors, security guards and the like will never tell you that "that's the answer to another question".
children need to be equipped early to deal with the fact that adulthood is a tough thing to navigate, that things might get a little painful.
i think too many adults that are still children deep down have never left their childhood behind because no-one equipped them to deal with their own adulthood... NOT teaching your children to navigate the often brutal waters of life is doing them a tremendous disservice, she said with all the wisdom of someone that has never raised a child, but survived her own childhood quite nicely, thankyouverymuch ;-)
with all my love...
moo
In all your beauty and your wisdom, I believe you have still missed the orginal point my love,
The phrase " that is the answer to another question" is meant to inspire the child to listen closer, to think deeper, to be encouraged to express, to speak. It is also a phrase that tells the child that they were being listened to.
The NO NO NO, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG answer usually promotes children to not answer, to keep silent, to not express themselves.
It is a harsh world, but most camps are meant to be esteem building vehicles - especially arts and religious camps.
Admittedly, I am a fan of the NO NO NO, WRONG WRONG WRONG mentatlity ... however there is a very good possibility that I am a product of my negative, pessimistic generation. There is the possibility that I am actually jealous of those that are encouraged ... those that are allowed to be as they are ... instead of being manipulated, warped, changed into something someone else tell them that they should be.
I think we can humour the kids for one month of day camp, out of twelve months of the year, out of 70+ years of their life ... why not just treat them well in one little hole in the universe?
Afterall - for the rest of their life they will be slapped back by "bank managers, police, casting directors, lovers, hiring managers, doctors, stepchildren, lawyers, colleagues, parole officers, muggers, universtiy professors, security guards and the like."
I am sure that we can give the allowance of just a little encouragement ... why so adverse to trying something different?
With equal love and respect
moo ..
Instructing a child as a parent, and instructing a child as a mentor/teacher, elder are too very seperate processes, two different relationships.
Apples and Oranges.
I believe we were originally discussing children being instructed by individuals who are not their parents. Very, very different relationship, different set of instructions, different influence.
"Yet we palm off the responsibility of decision making on those too young to have any decent observation of it. They have no tools for the job."
That is an incredible underestimation of a child and how they understand their immediate universe.
Remember, it wasn't that long ago that we lengthened the time period we call childhood.
Julius Caesar, was a husband and a father and was ruling at 18. Cornelia, his wife was 14 when she married.
My grandfather, 70 years ago, was working at fourteen, he didn't go to High School, it was unneccessary. He was making adult decisions - although we would deem him as a child now.
"How is this saving them trauma?"
What Trauma? Who's trying to save the child from trauma ????? Discomfort maybe, but trauma ???
The phrase " that is the answer to another question" is meant to inspire the child to listen closer, to think deeper, to be encouraged to express, to speak. It is also a phrase that tells the child that they were being listened to.
Save them from Trauma?
Supply a child with an oasis, a safety zone at daycamp ....
WHY NOT???
Why not allow them an oasis?
Why not treat them well?
With respect.
Lil Sparrow.
Hello Oz et all.
"Why not afford them the benefit of being children? Is that it"?
That is absolutely what I have been, somewhat awkwardly, trying to express. You hit the nail right on the head.
"Well, this largely depends on the individual child in question ..."
Absolutely agreed.
Peace and blessings
Lil sparrow
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