dear bruce
hello, my love!
i can't tell you how excited i am about your upcoming birthday! these months together have been the most wonderful, happy, spiritual time in my life; and i look forward to waking up each and every day because i know i am going to spend that day falling even more deeply in love with you.
and i have finally gotten your birthday present in the mail! i still remember our discussion of how much you had enjoyed visiting canada, and how you were so drawn to our wildlife, so i really hope you like what i got you - although if you don't, its totally cool! i can kill and stuff something else!!
also, i know i probably shouldn't mention this, but of all my many gifts and talents - among which are, of course, spoon balancing, spitting for distance and accuracy, and applying lipstick without using my hands - the ability to wrap presents is not at the top of my list of brilliant abilities. i know the elvis commemorative pickle fork set you said you wanted looks like it was wrapped by a blind meth addict with parkinson's disease, but i tried! i really tried!
still, you are such a sweet, wonderful, compassionate man, i know that you will simply shrug your shoulders and say "that's my annie - top of her high school special education class five years in a row!" i am so touched at how proud you always are when you tell people that.
oh! and i hope the icecream cake i sent isn't too runny when it gets to australia. i know you are moving into summer down under, so i threw some ice cubes into the box. that should keep it cool on the trip! and please scrape off the the mushy bit on the top where it says "happy birthd uce". that damned dog moves so fast nowdays that i can't hardly keep up!
anyway, my angel... i can't wait until it really IS your birthday and i can call you to sing happy birthday to you over the phone in my own birthday suit! i mean, you won't be able to see it or anything, but with a love like ours, i know the honour system will be our bond!
i love you more than i can say...
your one and only annie
posted by AMackid at 12:57 PM
2 Comments:
You two...make me smile. ;)
it's just so typical...you turn your back for a moment and the next thing you know people are emailing cakes at each other. Remember when Everest was yet to be conquered? No? Well neither do I...and that's the point...about a week after Hillary had reached the summit...some shark in a leisure suit had opened a cafe on the top of the hill, and old ladies were strolling up the North Face arm in arm for afternoon tea. But I digress...as I was saying, todays technology allows you to send "personal" emails to hundreds if not millions of people personally...right now I'm eating a vegemite sandwich...later I'll use my urine to fuel the car...hey it burns clean...have you seen the weird vibe they call Coronation Street lately...wow...what a rush...murders and mayhem and madness...oh my...they should really look at soap operas and rate them like they do movies, music and my sex life...which is currently PG...I mailed a small animal to someone once...good times...today I saw the strangest thing...but more of that later...right now I have more pressing issues...like why is duct tape so damn strong...and how come the upside down flintrubblebubble cake never made it as a recipe into Betty Crockers Cake Bible...so I must away to my Secret Lab and work on the capti...er...entertain my special guest...kisses...toodles...
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