Wednesday, November 22, 2006

the crowning glory

i broke a tooth over the weekend. it was a molar, and am having a crown put on today. as much as i really hate the thought of dental work, i think the way i broke the tooth is a funny story, actually. ok well, maybe not funny, but amazing anyway.

see, many of you don't realize that in my spare time, i am angelina jolie's stunt double. yes, i know many of you have commented on the resemblance, and my natural, goyischke athleticism; but really i do it out of the goodness of my heart because while the money is good, i really don't want my girl "anje" to get hurt. i mean, she's got kids and all.

so we're filming here in toronto, which is doubling for calcutta (we're at the corner of gerrard and greenwood) and the stunt co-ordinator dude, mordechai, says how cool it would be if "his little angel-ah" (yeah, that's what he calls me *giggle*) took a bullet in the ribs and then came out swinging with the scottish claymore she is using to battle the six swedish ninjas before bringing down the scud missile with the kalashnikov and riding away on her katana to do battle with the giant squid (man, this movie is gonna kick ASS!!! -ed)

so anyway, brendan gleason, who plays the evil "mustafa ibrahim bin hassan" says "yeah, that'd be cool" and fires the prop gun, only - and these prop guys can be SUCH kidders! - its REAL gun that fires at me. now, i am so totally lucky that ages ago i apprenticed to criss angel, and he taught me how catch a bullet between my teeth; so between the time the gun fires and i realize what's going down and think "ok, no biggie, its only a 9mm" i realize that i'm gonna be just a smidge too slow (shouldn't have had that extra helping of goulash for lunch, i think) its too late and i can't catch the bullet with my incisors, and so it was when i was eating hot lead that my molar cracked, and now i have to go to the #*#%$ dentist.

that frozen chocolate peanut had nothing to do with it.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever you say Annie....Whatever you say....;D

I hate the dentist to, not the dentist personally obviously, but just the thought of him.....

6:40 PM  
Blogger AMackid said...

i know, i KNOW. i should have told you earlier '-)

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes you should have! These past 5 months and you never, not once, ever mentioned you were Angelina Jolie's stunt double...sigh.. ;)

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You left out how much the Tooth Fairy left under your pillow.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bruce is correct.

Taken from the Jolie stunt handbook;

9mm Stunt Equipment

* Kevlar mouthguard - manditory
* Underwear - optional
* Waterproof Keyboard - recommended

5:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just another day on the movie set, eh? At least with Billy Bob out of the picture you didn't have to wear a copy of Angie's blood-vial-on-a-string. There is the duresss involved in snoggling with the BradPitt double, though.
ps if you don't need the Katana anymore, can I borrow it?

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just another day on the movie set, eh? At least with Billy Bob out of the picture you didn't have to wear a copy of Angie's blood-vial-on-a-string.
ps if you don't need the Katana anymore, can I borrow it?

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now THERE is the writing your minions have ben waiting for!!!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now you can get a grill!

Annie git yer grill ... we could write a musical!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

L

9:09 PM  

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