i want candy!!!!

hallowe'eners and beans

while john has posted a very insightful and concise history of hallowe'en on his profile (which is worth hanging around on no matter what), i realize there are christians that struggle with it.

i am pleased to announce i am not one of them.

and why?

in a word: candy.

the argument has been made that as hallowe'en's roots are pagan it should figure nowhere into the christian holiday calendar. well, my learned friends - if that's the stance you want to take, you can't have any of my tootsies rolls you'll have to throw out a huge chunk of easter and most of christmas too.

i think, (and upon occasion i do) that the more relevant question is, is halowe'en still a pagan holiday? well, it is still celebrated by pagans in parts of the world, but then so is easter - so i don't think that means we should stop celebrating easter or the chocolate fest that's become either. rather, i'd hope we might take a look at what hallowe'en means to us as a community, our children and the canadian diabetic association.

hallowe'en is a marvellous social event. it is one day a year that parents can get out into the neighbourhood and actually meet their neighbours. children dressed up as ghosts, ballerinas and wads of chewed up bubble gum (yes, i had a troubled childhood, what's your point??) are a guaranteed ice-breaker: conversation with someone you might see once a year doesn't have to be forced or stilted; and for your child's part, the little biatch that wouldn't put on that fifty dollar cher costume i reserved for her in july but noooooo… she has to be a gypsy! who the hell dresses like a gypsy anyway and is that my hermes tie???? that adorable little ragamuffin gets candy.

lots and lots of candy. now granted some of it is that cheap dollar-store candy that's made in someplace like kuala lumpur and tastes like a benobo's ass; but you know that even that cheap candy will get eaten in december before the christmas candy rush starts. and the barter potential of much of the good candy you get will get you out of at least one beat-down at school because your parents sent you out dressed as a wad of chewing gum and let your sister indulge her fantasies of being a bag lady.

and as for the adults, its a prime opportunity to get to know which kids belong to which parents, where they live, who their brothers and sisters are, who are being taken around by a really hot nanny, and which are being raised by that really cute single dad with the lexus down the street.

and did i mention there's candy??????

and the debate whimpers on...

funny, in my conversation yesterday with the archdeacon here in toronto, some very strong words on sydney's position on this matter were spoken (and not by me, believe it or not!)

archdeacon fenty described it as "revolting" and "repugnant" and an affront to the ministry of all believers and the way that expresses itself through all humanity.

i'd be interested in your views....

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,20639440-5003402,00.html

what an amazing weekend this was!

the church of the resurrection celebrated its annual retreat this weekend and it was a weekend filled with laughter, BACON, reflection, conversation, fellowship and worship. fairhaven retreat is a SAUSAGES lovely campus set back on acres and acres of land abloom in PANCAKES autumn glory, and though the rain was a bit disheartening, it did manage to hold off until FRENCH FRIES the last day. our theme this year is "who is my WAFFLE neighbour?", an exploration of just what it means to be a christian in fellowship with the world around us.




we arrived late on friday evening, most of us having taken a wrong turn on highway 48, but when we arrived, there was a good deal of fun and SCRAMBLED EGGS relaxation going on. it had been a long day, and i was tired, so i got my room key, bade everyone good night and headed out into the night to find my CHEESECAKE room.

the next morning we convened for morning FISH AND CHIPS worship and an early breakfast before meeting in the chapel for a discussion on HAM "hospitality" led by leeanne. i managed to miss that talk as i had volunteered to sit with the GARLIC TOAST children and watch VEGGIE tales and do some colouring and playing with RAVIOLI lego.




before lunch, dion - who is the director of the salvation army's ICECREAM gateway shelter for men - gave a moving and fascinating talk about "who is my neighbour in the community" and challenged us all to SPAGHETTI reach beyond our comfort zone and forge relationships that cost us time, money or both. he pointed out that true giving had a cost attached, and one that we were called on to gladly pay.




then came lunch, and afterwards was "free time". the facilities offered ROASTED POTATOS a hayride, leisure time and outdoor adventure which included orienteering and rock climbing for the CHERRY PIE youth. as one of the de facto youth ministers, and an ex-rock climber - naturally i opted for the GREEK SALAD adventure, and had a wonderful time outdoors with the teens, two trained climbers, and our assistant pastor's husband who will ever more be known as "danger boy!"



in the afternoon, dion resumed his talk on CHICKEN FINGERS the homeless and the needy, and some lively, meaningful WHIPPED CREAM discussion was had. after dinner, i headed back to my MASHED POTATOS cabin for an hour long call from bruce, and spent that time regaling him with tales of PEROGIES the adventures of the day. afterwards, we had the choice of a campfire and MARSHMALLOWS, a music jam night in the chapel or a movie in the lounge. being tired, i opted for the FUDGE CAKE "lion the witch and the wardrobe" before heading off for another quick chat with bruce and a lovely CINNAMON TOAST sleep.

the next morning we again gathered for worship and breakfast, and celebrated Ekko's fifth HAMBURGER birthday! then alan gave a talk on "who is my neighbour in the workplace?", and we moved into a delightful PASTA SALAD communion service where the sermon was replaced by a hilarious and meaningful skit presented by the youth on on "the good ROAST BEEF samaritan" then off for one last fellowship lunch, and all too soon it was time for home.

yes, all in all it was a wonderful FETTUCINI ALFREDO weekend, and i am sure many people got a great deal out of it. i know we are all looking forward to ALKA SELTZER next year!

the food was nothing to write home about, though.

advice needed

some miserable bastard a very dear friend of mine on the gold coast recently sent me something in the mail that i can't believe made it past homeland security i am at a loss as to what to do with.

from the smell, i initially thought "dead wombat", but it appeared to be something rather more sinister than even that. it came in the kind of overly cheerful package generally reserved for suppositories and head cheese; and when i cracked it open it appeared to be filled with a goopy, black, tar like substance.

so far, though, its proven to be quite useful! i've managed to waterproof my boots with it, winterize my tires, touch up the grout between the kitchen tiles and substitute it for toad's blood in a curse i am levelling on my neighbour fix the rip in my pvc raincoat.

there is just one thing i don't quite understand: as i read the package for usage instructions and first aid warnings i notice that it says "41kj per 5 gm serving".

any idea what that might mean??? what IS this crap anyway???

thanksgiving

one of the hardest parts of living in the big city, alone, is that your loved ones are far away and not with you to share in the wholesome, family-oriented pleasures a city like toronto offers....

dear bruce

hello, my love!

i can't tell you how excited i am about your upcoming birthday! these months together have been the most wonderful, happy, spiritual time in my life; and i look forward to waking up each and every day because i know i am going to spend that day falling even more deeply in love with you.

and i have finally gotten your birthday present in the mail! i still remember our discussion of how much you had enjoyed visiting canada, and how you were so drawn to our wildlife, so i really hope you like what i got you - although if you don't, its totally cool! i can kill and stuff something else!!

also, i know i probably shouldn't mention this, but of all my many gifts and talents - among which are, of course, spoon balancing, spitting for distance and accuracy, and applying lipstick without using my hands - the ability to wrap presents is not at the top of my list of brilliant abilities. i know the elvis commemorative pickle fork set you said you wanted looks like it was wrapped by a blind meth addict with parkinson's disease, but i tried! i really tried!

still, you are such a sweet, wonderful, compassionate man, i know that you will simply shrug your shoulders and say "that's my annie - top of her high school special education class five years in a row!" i am so touched at how proud you always are when you tell people that.

oh! and i hope the icecream cake i sent isn't too runny when it gets to australia. i know you are moving into summer down under, so i threw some ice cubes into the box. that should keep it cool on the trip! and please scrape off the the mushy bit on the top where it says "happy birthd uce". that damned dog moves so fast nowdays that i can't hardly keep up!

anyway, my angel... i can't wait until it really IS your birthday and i can call you to sing happy birthday to you over the phone in my own birthday suit! i mean, you won't be able to see it or anything, but with a love like ours, i know the honour system will be our bond!

i love you more than i can say...

your one and only annie